One of the hardest things about having Crohn’s disease is what I know. These things I know are things that should never be on a person’s mind, they carry a heavy weight. For instance I know that my illness is chronic, meaning that there is no cure, meaning that I will have Crohn’s for the rest of my life. There is no magic button, switch, pill or procedure that will take or stop this illness, it’s forever and ever. I do not like this knowledge. It is a frightening experience taking my medications because I know the side effects, one of which it says right on the package “rarely, sudden death can occur”. I don’t like knowing this either. I don’t like knowing that I am at an increased chance of getting several different types of cancer either because of my Crohn’s or the medications I take to treat it. This disease is just plain downright scary, I know this…
However with this information, knowledge or whatever you can describe it as I am empowered. Because of what I know I can talk about inflammatory bowel disease to raise awareness and money for research for a cure. Because of what I know I can help the newly diagnosed understand what has happened to them, what they are going through and what to expect. Because I am sick I can be there for other folks that are ill when they are in need. I know I am a member of a huge community of the chronically ill, and I know they are the most helpful caring people in the world. However the thing I cannot help with or explain is why! I have no knowledge of why, not for myself or anyone else. Why?