Depression

People diagnosed with chronic illness, depression can be a common complication. The life altering event of chronic illness which cause us to face a much different “new normal” can be devastating due to uncertainty and rapidly changing circumstance. I can be all consuming worrying that ones life can completely flip in a matter on moments, I know it has happened to me several times. A year ago I went to work and was okay, ended my day in hospital being told things could go very bad for me very quickly because of Sepsis. Sepsis if caught soon is terrible but fixable, if caught late you are prone to septic shock, which your vital organs shut down one by one, a very horrible last hours eventually going into a coma then death. I think this is very much enough on a mind to cause depression and PTSD. I know many with Inflammatory Bowel Disease, Lupus, MS, Fibromyalgia, ankylosing spondylitis and more, these people a scared out of their minds most of the time, their new since of normal is something the average person cannot imagine. Are people diagnosed with chronic illness scared, yep, do they have PTSD, many do yes, are they depressed, yes 100%. When you the normal, meet someone with a new normal, don’t judge, until you know what you are talking about, don’t suggest, until you are educated, know that this person is very confused and very scared, they do not understand why this has happened to them, a very viable person reduced to sickness and much pain. Am I depressed, you bet, Am I scared, every minute and there are many like me, so be kind..

Joshua E. Robinson

joshuaerobinson

In Your Darkest Moment Always Remember There is Still Hope!!! 🙂

Thursday March 27, 2014

Thursday March 27, 2014, one year ago today.

My son Steve and daughter Kaitlyn had come over to hospital to see me, when Doc popped inmy room. Doctor Ciarolla looked at me and said, “ What the hell, I scoped you less than a month ago, things were looking good.” I told him I know. Doc then proceeded to ask if I understood that I would likely need a bowel resection and would come out of surgery with a temporary ostomy if not a permanent one. Doctor Frank came in, he and Doc explained the procedure that would be done. Doctor Franks left the room. Doc C then looked at very hard and ask “Do you understand how serious this is?” I said yes. He said, “No really do you understand how serious this is?” I started to cry, which make Steve and Kaity upset, I told Doc yes again and added I could go sepsis and die. He said yes you could I told him please don’t let that happen. He looked at me again and said “deal”.

About an hour went by and Doc C was back, to tell me they were going to try something else. I was put on complete bowel rest since my perforations were micro, to give the a chance to heal on their own avoiding surgery. The only thing I got by mouth was blood pressure meds. I received flagyl and ciproflaxn in major doses IV form to hopefully keep me from going full blown sepsis, I also received Dilaudid every two hours for the first couple days, after that every four hours. I was still scared, but relieved, and one year later I am still here and it worked. I have not eaten a strawberry since and never will again.

26 March, 2014 22:39

Today, March 26, 2014 exactly one year ago, One year ago today I was feeling really bad, had a low grade fever, but went to work because I knew it was “just” a Crohn’s flare, I use “just” a very lightly because to someone without the disease would think they were dying. About 11:00am I needed the loo, sitting in there I got a pain so sever in my crotch and lower left abdomen that I fell off the toilet. After a few minutes laying there I managed to get up and clean everything up, I went out and told my friend and co-worker I was sick and needed to go to the back room to lay down for a few. After a bit the pain let up a bit so I returned to work. I could not stand completely straight up, but that’s okay and I finished the day at Central. Upon arriving home I passed through the living room and made my way upstairs to get ready for Anthony’s game. Going back to the living room I told Eva I was ready to go to Philippi and she said (”Why are you hunched over?”) I told her it feels like someone punched me in the gut and kicked me in the crotch, we argued a bit but she convinced me I needed to stay home. Off they went. I sat down in the recliner and fell asleep. About 7:30pm I woke up needing to pee, immediately upon standing I collapsed in the worse pain I have ever felt, I knew something was terribly wrong. My phone was upstairs, I had to crawl on all four to get it. I called my Mom who sent my son, Stevie he took me to Grafton City Hospital’s ER.

The doctor on call immediately ordered blood work, My blood pressure was tanking where he found my white blood cell count was through the roof, so he ordered x-rays and a CT scan. A nurse comes to me and is hooking up an IV as soon as she was done the Doctor told her to give me Demerol, a few minutes passed, the nurse still with m when the Doctor came back in and told her I had “Free Air”, yes that scared the hell out of me because I knew what it meant. The contents of my intestines were emptying into my abdominal cavity. I spoke up and said I wanted to go to Fairmont General, where Doc C worked and he would do everything in his power to keep me from getting Sepsis. My day ended with a ride in ambulance, more Demerol, lots of Morphine and at FGH lots of Dilaudid. March 25, 2014 I laid in a bed in hospital terrified, because I ate a strawberry.

Joshua E. Robinson

joshuaerobinson

In Your Darkest Moment Always Remember There is Still Hope!!! 🙂

Inflammatory Bowel Disease and our eyes

Inflammatory Bowel Disease and our eyes, who would think that I.B.D. would mess with your eyes,I know, right? Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis can cause eye problems because of theinflammatory nature of the disease as well the medications can cause problems as well. For example, long-term use of corticosteroids may lead to glaucoma and cataracts (clouding of the lens of the eye that impairs vision). Last year at the time my Optometrist said I have the beginnings cataracts, yay.

The disease it’s self can cause chronic dry eye. Keratopthy, a disease of the cornea that doesn’t hurt, your eye Doc may see white deposits on the edge of the cornea. Episleritis or Scleritis, episleritis can cause tenderness and mild discomfort, it does not impair your vision. Scleritis can cause severe eye pain and impair your vision. Scleritis requires aggressive treatment. Uveitis, a painful inflammation that causes blurred vision and light sensitivity, it can set on suddenly. Iritis is a inflammation and is very painful. Iritis affects the only part of the uvea that controls the amount of light coming into the iris, you can absolutely be blinded by car headlights, sometimes flashing sunlight can blind you in the middle of the day. Iritis requires aggressive treatment.  Uveitis and Iritis left untreated can cause scar tissue resulting in glaucoma and vision loss.

This little post is in hope that if you notice your vision changing, you seek help. People with Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis should get their eyes checked every 6 to 8 months and should push their optometrist to look for these conditions. Please take care of your eyes and please take care of you, you are important to me.

Joshua E. Robinson

joshuaerobinson

In Your Darkest Moment Always Remember There is Still Hope!!! 🙂